Lino Cuts and Waffle Poisoning.

A big BIG thanks to everyone for their lovely, helpful and supportive comments on my previous whinge post. I appreciated them so much and they absolutely helped me move forward. I now have a sculpture that doesn't look unlike me (the goal) and if you are brave enough scroll down to see it's latest progress. I'm only just brave enough to put it up. I actually think it looks more like Special Agent Dana Scully from the TV show The X-Files (but then  I'd always considered there was a bit of a resemblance there. If you are reading this now Gillian Anderson (and why wouldn't you be?) you have the permission to play me in the Hollywood movie version of my life.....).

I also confronted my fears of lino and just committed to doing the best with what I had available (ie focus, health, time, skill). That's all you can do and having a long weekend here was definitely in my favour. Thinking also I might ask for an extension on this brief  -an artists book titled Intimate/Obscure which uses lino print self portraiture to hint at aspects of yourself!- and that should help ease the pressure too.

Lastly just a couple of photos from my mothers birthday brunch last week. Mum has been unwell lately so dad took control of the festivities and produced an impressive effort of a birthday cake. My little boy had also put in requests for his favourite foods - waffles and fresh donuts with sugar and cinnamon. My overriding image from the day is him sitting up at the bar eating waffle after waffle after waffle long after everyone else had finished. Then springing up on the news there would be no school the next day for 20 victory laps of the table. Mum and I agreed he showed all the early signs of acute waffle poisoning...and I think the photo somehow captures that...

Gender Studies 101.

Archie was telling me the other day how funny one of the boys in his class was being, a child with a rep for being the naughtiest boy in the kindergarten class. I said "Did everyone think he was being funny?"

Archie said "Just the boys".

I said "Why don't the girls think he's being funny?"

Archie said "Because they know he's being naughty"

"Don't the boys know he's being naughty?" I asked.

"Yes" said Archie "But they can't help it"

It was hard to know what to say next. You'd probably pay a psychologist with a Phd in gender studies a fortune to reach an insight like that...

Book Week.

A week ago now but Book Week at the school ended on Friday with a dress up assembly. Funny, I always saw myself as the mother who would be whipping up elaborate original costumes when the occassion arose but I realise now I was thinking of another mother entirely, not in fact myself. Not to worry - the kids assembled their own costumes - Batman and Harry Potter. See those blue girls sports pants doubling for Batman's uhmm...shorts... over his grey tights? That was my idea. Go me. Frankly though I was surprised he went for the suggestion. Glad he did though, they complete the ensemble. Otherwise it might just look like Batman pajamas with a vampire cape.... 

Sucked In By Billie Bones.

Have you seen Billie Bones on TV yet? He's a plastic skeleton delivered to your house bone by bone in weekly instalments alongside a magazine booklet full of interesting facts about the human body. Suitable for young kids. Aimed in fact at young kids. Probably mostly six year old boys like the one in our house. I was oblivious until Billie's elaborately packaged skull turned up to the house the other day with my mother. Archie had somehow spied it in the local newsagent and told his Grandmother all about the fantastic series you could collect and guess what? This introductory offer of skull and magazine - which comes with a life size poster of Billy and all twenty of Billie's teeth which you get to insert yourself  - is yours for only $2.95. That's right, you heard correct. Only $2.95. Trouble is all instalments after that are $11.95. So if you end up collecting all of Billie's bones to build his life size (six year old) skeleton plus his vital organs you will have forked out $320.

I had to sit Archie down and explain that that would not be happening. Luckily Archie understands the concept of things being "too spensive" and we settled on getting the next instalment so that Billie could have his eyeballs and brain and then leave it at that. Imagine our upset then when we get the next lot and it contains the two eyeballs but only the right hemisphere of Billie's brain. Turns out the left hemisphere is going to cost another $11.95. Maybe, I say, Billie can just have half a brain. He will be very creative without any reasoning skills. No, says Archie, you can't have half a brain. Well, I say, the human brain is very amazing and can sometimes compensate for parts that have been lost. In fact researchers estimate we only use up to 10 % of our brain anyway and that the cells we do use are very adaptable and  plastic. And in Billie's case actual plastic. No. Archie's not buying it. He shakes Billie's skull and the lone hemisphere rattles away inside.  I can't say I blame him. We need closure. Billy needs closure. We commit to installment 3. That's it though. I swear.

Young At Art.

I know as parents we shouldn't place undue expectations on our children but really there's worse a parent can do than push a child to realise their own unfulfilled dreams in the art/design world. With this in mind I've been seizing on Archie's new found enthusiasm for whipping up cards when the occasion warrants (birthdays, Mothers' Day...) scrutinising them for a latent talent. 

Hmmmm......

Enough, in truth, just to see all the magic a six year old contains express itself on paper. These latest examples bring a great big smile (and sometimes even a laugh) to my face.

Inexpensive fun at home.

Todays afternoon fun took the form of:

A tent made of lounge cushions for Archie.

Extraction of a loose tooth with rusty barbeque tongs by Ruby.

Truly Scary.

Have spent a few years resisting the Hallowe'en thing on the grounds it is too American but, finally worn down, gave in this year and embraced a couple of the traditions. First making these Witchy cup cakes for the kids to decorate and second taking Archie and his friend Nicki from accross the road around our small cul de sac trick or treating (we reversed the trick or treat however by providing the treat ourselves - the witchy cupcakes).

Jazz Apple Cafe

Having to make an annoying unscheduled visit to the bank in civic last Friday (to fix up mistake THEY made) was sweetened by the discovery of a new cup cake cafe opened up a couple of door down from the bank. It's called the Jazz Apple Cafe and quite simply the cup cakes are INCREDIBLE. The kids chose Jaffa but I know somehow we will find a way to try them all - particularly keen to try the Jersey caramel and Lemon merangue. So rich Archie couldn't finnish his so I had to step in and do the job for him even though I knew the chocolate would give me a headache. The verdict: it was worth it.

Some Welcome Rain.

Glory be to Ruby who has broken the Canberra drought this week by painting the outdoor table in "Poppy".

Universal Complaint

It can't be easy being five years old and trying to get your message accross. Frustrated recently by his inablity to get out the exact right words, Archie has taken to more visual means of communication. Aided by the universal symbol for DON"T (A circle with a slash through it) he has signalled to his family what is acceptable and what is not.
I wonder if this would pass muster in all relationships? Someone has a problem with something you've done? Do as Ruby does with Archie now and just tell them to "Put it in writing".

Sisters should not share your allocated time on the computer.

Sisters should not slam doors -if you do I wont love you. (See love heart on right hand side with a cross through it).

When returning home from a party sisters should share out the lolly bag by half.

Please don't put honey on my crumpet.

Only Their Mother Can Tell Them Apart

We are off to Dubbo zoo for a few days. See you when we get back!

The things you do.

Thanks must go to Archie for his help last night in explaining to the plumber what the problem was before I had the chance. "WE PUT THINGS IN OUR TOILET" he explained before the plumber could even set foot inside the house. "Things you PUT in a toilet" he elaborated delicately, hinting at the whole raison d'etre someone might invite a plumber over. He then followed the plumber around the backyard to see if he might be of any help. I hope he is not thinking of becoming a plumber because as Ruby said plumbing is the "fifth worst job" she can think of. I do think though Archie has some kind of bent for how things work (and I use the word 'things' here in a more general way). For example yesterday while I was hiding from my life in the bathroom he unpicked the lock from the outside with a paddle pop stick.

In other household matters, crunch time has arrived. I have asked Ruby to decide whether the thick navy tracksuit pants are pajamas or school uniform. They cannot be both.

Hacking

Only two more sleeps until Col gets his new bike - such a flashy upgrade for someone who has been riding the same old racer for twenty years. It will set us back $850 but I like to pretend it's more like $1300 as a way of coping with the recent discovery our server has been charging us around $200 a month for all our internet downloads. Otherwise I just feel ill at the waste. Am sure someone has been hacking into our computer and using up our bytes. No more buddy, party is OVER.

An unexpected turn of events.

Monday night while bathing kids and getting dinner a stranger rang to tell me Col had had an accident while riding home and needed me to come pick him up. I knew immediately it must be baddish because Col has had accidents before and still managed to drag himself and bike home. "Is it bad?" I asked. "Uh yes" said stranger in clipped tones (a mental image of Alain De Botton only in cycling gear made itself available to me). Slipping effortlessly into the role of Panicky Wife I took down some confused coordinates for a bike path in Aranda, thanked the man and went to get the kids rugged up so we could go and find daddy all bruised and broken somewhere on a bikepath in the dark. Fortunately Col managed to collect himself and call me on his mobile before I had left the house and I convinced him to call an ambulance. Then worried he would fall unconscious again before calling I decided to call them myself. Yes, they assured me without any patronising or making me feel bad about being Panicky Wife, they were already on their way to find him. They also rang me back when they had him in the ambulance en route the hospital to assure me everything would be fine. They were so nice.
So now Col is home for two weeks, one arm in a sling the other in a cast that covers most of his hand. It never occurred to me before how helpless you would be in this situation. Add to that he has to sleep sitting up. Fortunately as a patient Col is not the whiny kind and so is getting the best out of his dodgy innattentive nurse (me).

Chickie Has His Portrait Done

I couldn't believe it the other day when I found Archie in the studio drawing his new friend Chickie. He never draws! And chickie was sitting there in a quiet composure until the drawing was completed! Madness!

Have wondered lately if Archie's reluctance to draw has anything to do with all the coddling from Perthes' disease he gets. The inactivity, the lack of opportunity to build hand strength out on the monkey bars like other kids. With the latest x ray results we've relaxed that a bit so is he feeling freer to try out other stuff too? More confident with his motor skills? Or is it just the inspiration gained from our trip last week to Canberra's new National Portrait Gallery?

Tidy Floors

Here is picture of Archie allowed into Ruby's's room while she cleans it. He is given a corner but is happy all the same. Remember how that is, when someone you admired just for being older than you, offers a crumb of themselves down to you?